apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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