so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If that was your dad, he is hot
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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