i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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