Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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