Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
