I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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