If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize