It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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