This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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