Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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