I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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