You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
