I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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