dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
