Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
