The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
