So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
