im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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