I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
