omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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