I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
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SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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