Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize