high people should be assigned attendants
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
