you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
