What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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