well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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