She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
