True but thats because hes a fetus.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
