The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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