So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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