Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
