I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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