Umm I'm too high to move.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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