I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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