I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
