How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
