real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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