the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
