im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
