My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize