I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
