well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
