Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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