so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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