If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
