how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
