no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
