Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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