I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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