My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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