whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
