he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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