Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bring me that man meat
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize