Moan for me like Helen Keller
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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