omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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