real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
