How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
