I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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