Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
