we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
