i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize