There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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