Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
